I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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