Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she told me i tasted like america
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Mom said you looked used
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
