big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
