Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
pray to the hookup gods
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
