yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You are a genius and a whore.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
