in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
