I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
