For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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