all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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