This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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