he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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