I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
