sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
