sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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