was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
