she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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