farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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