Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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