I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
