Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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