three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dicks are not precious.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
