for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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