It's like God shit irony all over that family
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
