Me. At least after what I've been through.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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