I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
