so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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