if you like me you must not know who I am
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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