Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You need Xanax blowdarts
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
