Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
