I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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