I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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