U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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