Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We are all done wearing pants today
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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