sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
