We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
