you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
