His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
