i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
