I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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