I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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