So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
