How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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