I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
