New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
