Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
