Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just pee around me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ladies don't puke and tell
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
