We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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