Barsexuality is the new black.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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