you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
