how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
50% drunk capacity currently
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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