Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
