Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
