haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
