I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize