Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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