Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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