Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
