Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
