worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
