And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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