I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
