I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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