She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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